Welcome to my collection of artifacts! The artifacts are sequenced in the order of: In-class artifacts, outside artifact, Retrospective/Prospective Essay artifact, and lastly Portfolio Design artifact. The artifact itself will be shown first and after will be the commentary I wrote for it. Enjoy!
Artifact 1: Example of Thin Writing
Artifact:
What I’ve noticed on fanfiction was groups of people, who share a common form of entertainment by writing and reading stories. With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations, whether it’s Harry Potter, Naruto, Glee, etc. But let’s just take a look at the High School Musical (HSM) fanfictions for example. It is clear to say that the majority of the High School Musical fanfiction writers are teenagers. Well, this proves that with the 18k HSM fanfictions there are, high-school students are spending their time writing stories online and trying to get approval from other “fans” while they could be more productive with their time. The teenage years are also a prime time in your life, juggling school work, potential family issues, and trying to be socially accepted. Social acceptance is a critical thing to high schoolers and fanfiction is not the way to gain it. Fanfiction is just another way that students spend their time procrastinating instead of doing the things they need to do.
Commentary:
I have selected my third paragraph of my first essay for my artifact because I learned how to expand my writing using the example of thin writing technique we learned in class. It provides a good skeleton to work in different writing moves and lastly, I think it’s a good example to show how my writing has changed from the first draft before I applied the method. In my first draft of my first essay, before I was introduced to this technique, my writing was very thin and empty. I was very vague and my essay also lacked length. An example of this appears in my Under Construction Draft where I talk about the fanfiction community and how their common form of entertainment is reading writing stories. In my final draft of my first essay, my paragraphs were full and not vague, they were more specific with supporting evidence. An example of this is in my final draft after the same sentence that I mentioned earlier except I add onto it by saying, “With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations…” I add onto my first statement and expand the topic of fanfiction interests and communities. When I first learned how to expand my paragraphs in the thin writing demonstration, I realized to make your paragraphs fuller, you had to look at each sentence separately like we did in class when we looked at the English 101 example. We looked at a paragraph written about English 101 and how it shouldn’t be a mandatory class. We were instructed to look at each sentence separately and add to the sentences or add extra sentences after it to make the paragraph more full with supporting details.
Artifact:
What I’ve noticed on fanfiction was groups of people, who share a common form of entertainment by writing and reading stories. With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations, whether it’s Harry Potter, Naruto, Glee, etc. But let’s just take a look at the High School Musical (HSM) fanfictions for example. It is clear to say that the majority of the High School Musical fanfiction writers are teenagers. Well, this proves that with the 18k HSM fanfictions there are, high-school students are spending their time writing stories online and trying to get approval from other “fans” while they could be more productive with their time. The teenage years are also a prime time in your life, juggling school work, potential family issues, and trying to be socially accepted. Social acceptance is a critical thing to high schoolers and fanfiction is not the way to gain it. Fanfiction is just another way that students spend their time procrastinating instead of doing the things they need to do.
Commentary:
I have selected my third paragraph of my first essay for my artifact because I learned how to expand my writing using the example of thin writing technique we learned in class. It provides a good skeleton to work in different writing moves and lastly, I think it’s a good example to show how my writing has changed from the first draft before I applied the method. In my first draft of my first essay, before I was introduced to this technique, my writing was very thin and empty. I was very vague and my essay also lacked length. An example of this appears in my Under Construction Draft where I talk about the fanfiction community and how their common form of entertainment is reading writing stories. In my final draft of my first essay, my paragraphs were full and not vague, they were more specific with supporting evidence. An example of this is in my final draft after the same sentence that I mentioned earlier except I add onto it by saying, “With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations…” I add onto my first statement and expand the topic of fanfiction interests and communities. When I first learned how to expand my paragraphs in the thin writing demonstration, I realized to make your paragraphs fuller, you had to look at each sentence separately like we did in class when we looked at the English 101 example. We looked at a paragraph written about English 101 and how it shouldn’t be a mandatory class. We were instructed to look at each sentence separately and add to the sentences or add extra sentences after it to make the paragraph more full with supporting details.
Artifact 2: Citation Packages
Artifact:
Throughout this essay I will be using terms from researcher and literary scholar James Paul Gee. He has created the term “affinity space” from his essay Affinity Spaces: From Age of Mythology to Today’s Schools and I will be using his terminology to refer to the space I’m talking about, the ESC. Now, according to Gee from his essay, an affinity space can be defined by many traits, traits that the ESC also have such as where he says “in affinity spaces people “bond” first and foremost to an endeavor or interest and secondarily, if at all, to each other” (66). Gee is saying that it is not the people itself that make an affinity space, it’s the things that bring the people together in the first place, the reason or interest that forms the foundation for the affinity space. The ESC attracts people to its welcoming environment which inevitably causes them to stay making them “bond” first over the shared interest. Other terms I’m going to be using in my essay later on by Gee are “portals” and “generators” which are gateways to the affinity space and the source of the affinity space. This affinity space can also relate to an American media scholar, Henry Jenkin’s video: What is a Participatory Culture where he explains what these participatory cultures have in common are “…their supportive environment in which to create and share what you create with others” (Jenkins). Here Jenkins explains what his term, “participatory culture” is and what it means. This ties the Ethnic Students Center in perfectly because the environment is very support of what people create and what is already created of it. So a question to ask may be: For what reasons do the students of Western Washington University (WWU) go to the Ethnic Student Center?
Commentary:
I have selected my third paragraph in my Presentation essay as one of my artifacts because it wasn’t until then that I had properly written a citation package. Before I included my citation packages in my essay, my paragraph did not have the sufficient information needed to cite another author. I was not very clear on what a citation package even was therefore I did not include the package to my citation whatsoever. I was in the habit of using the quote to speak for itself. In my final draft of my third paragraph, which contain several citation packages, I followed the several steps in creating a citation package. First off, I had to form a “lead-in” which first brings up the title and author in which I am citing. After I did that, I stated the quote that I had pulled from the text, and lastly, I interpreted what I thought the author was saying in that quote and applied it to my essay. In my third paragraph, I lead into my first citation package by stating James Paul Gee and the reference of work I am using, Affinity Spaces: From Age of Mythology to Today’s Schools. I now realize that I should’ve elaborated more after I state the quote to relate it more to the context of my essay. I also could have included more of the context he was using from the quote I took from it just to make sure that I’m using his words correctly in my paper. To be specific, I should have delved deeper into his context, now that I look back at his original essay where he is actually talking about the affinity space in comparison to the term “community” and “how it does not apply here” (66). With the inclusion of citation packages in my writing, I inform the reader of who I am quoting and how the quote relates to my paper. My readers will understand that my paper is going to include the terms that I have stated from Gee and will understand what the terms mean.
Artifact:
Throughout this essay I will be using terms from researcher and literary scholar James Paul Gee. He has created the term “affinity space” from his essay Affinity Spaces: From Age of Mythology to Today’s Schools and I will be using his terminology to refer to the space I’m talking about, the ESC. Now, according to Gee from his essay, an affinity space can be defined by many traits, traits that the ESC also have such as where he says “in affinity spaces people “bond” first and foremost to an endeavor or interest and secondarily, if at all, to each other” (66). Gee is saying that it is not the people itself that make an affinity space, it’s the things that bring the people together in the first place, the reason or interest that forms the foundation for the affinity space. The ESC attracts people to its welcoming environment which inevitably causes them to stay making them “bond” first over the shared interest. Other terms I’m going to be using in my essay later on by Gee are “portals” and “generators” which are gateways to the affinity space and the source of the affinity space. This affinity space can also relate to an American media scholar, Henry Jenkin’s video: What is a Participatory Culture where he explains what these participatory cultures have in common are “…their supportive environment in which to create and share what you create with others” (Jenkins). Here Jenkins explains what his term, “participatory culture” is and what it means. This ties the Ethnic Students Center in perfectly because the environment is very support of what people create and what is already created of it. So a question to ask may be: For what reasons do the students of Western Washington University (WWU) go to the Ethnic Student Center?
Commentary:
I have selected my third paragraph in my Presentation essay as one of my artifacts because it wasn’t until then that I had properly written a citation package. Before I included my citation packages in my essay, my paragraph did not have the sufficient information needed to cite another author. I was not very clear on what a citation package even was therefore I did not include the package to my citation whatsoever. I was in the habit of using the quote to speak for itself. In my final draft of my third paragraph, which contain several citation packages, I followed the several steps in creating a citation package. First off, I had to form a “lead-in” which first brings up the title and author in which I am citing. After I did that, I stated the quote that I had pulled from the text, and lastly, I interpreted what I thought the author was saying in that quote and applied it to my essay. In my third paragraph, I lead into my first citation package by stating James Paul Gee and the reference of work I am using, Affinity Spaces: From Age of Mythology to Today’s Schools. I now realize that I should’ve elaborated more after I state the quote to relate it more to the context of my essay. I also could have included more of the context he was using from the quote I took from it just to make sure that I’m using his words correctly in my paper. To be specific, I should have delved deeper into his context, now that I look back at his original essay where he is actually talking about the affinity space in comparison to the term “community” and “how it does not apply here” (66). With the inclusion of citation packages in my writing, I inform the reader of who I am quoting and how the quote relates to my paper. My readers will understand that my paper is going to include the terms that I have stated from Gee and will understand what the terms mean.
Artifact 3: Side-Shadow Commentary
Artifact:
What I’ve noticed on fanfiction was groups of people, who share a common form of entertainment by writing and reading stories. With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations, whether it’s Harry Potter, Naruto, Glee, etc. But let’s just take a look at the High School Musical (HSM) fanfictions [CL1] for example. It is clear to say that the majority of the High School Musical fanfiction writers are teenagers. Well, this proves that with the 18k HSM fanfictions there are, high-school students are spending their time writing stories online and trying to get approval from other “fans” while they could be more productive with their time. The teenage years are also a prime time in your life, juggling school work, potential family issues, and trying to be socially accepted. Social acceptance is a critical thing to high schoolers and fanfiction is not the way to gain it. Fanfiction is just another way that students spend their time procrastinating instead of doing the things they need to do. [CL1]More zooming in from panning
Commentary:
I have selected my side-shadowing that I did on my first essay as an artifact because it helped me see what I did good and what I did bad on my first essay to improve for my second essay. I think it’s a good example that shows clearly what I need to do to improve after thorough reading and it shows what I thought I did good to carry onto my future essays. In my original draft of my first essay before I did the side-shadowing, I thought my essay was well-rounded with little mistakes. After I did the side-shadowing I realized that there are obvious strengths and weaknesses in my paper. One strength that I saw in my paper is the panning and zooming technique, I commented on it on my second page where I showed exactly where I was zooming into fanfiction by looking at a specific movie, High School Musical. One area that I showed a weakness is the organization of my essay especially where I was questioning whether my sixth paragraph was a good spot to put more evidence from fanfiction. It’s evident in my second essay as well as my presentation essay that I took my weakness about the organization of my first essay and made it better by using the evolving thesis guidelines. By using these guidelines it helped my essay stay consistent with its supporting evidence and I still used the panning and zooming technique that I did well in my first essay. Side-shadowing is a helpful tool to use for future essays and it is especially evident in my papers as I learn from the mistakes in my first essay and recognize the strengths I showed as well.
Artifact:
What I’ve noticed on fanfiction was groups of people, who share a common form of entertainment by writing and reading stories. With common interests they form communities and create friendships talking about their likes and dislikes. Throughout fanfiction there are plenty of communities that have active conversations, whether it’s Harry Potter, Naruto, Glee, etc. But let’s just take a look at the High School Musical (HSM) fanfictions [CL1] for example. It is clear to say that the majority of the High School Musical fanfiction writers are teenagers. Well, this proves that with the 18k HSM fanfictions there are, high-school students are spending their time writing stories online and trying to get approval from other “fans” while they could be more productive with their time. The teenage years are also a prime time in your life, juggling school work, potential family issues, and trying to be socially accepted. Social acceptance is a critical thing to high schoolers and fanfiction is not the way to gain it. Fanfiction is just another way that students spend their time procrastinating instead of doing the things they need to do. [CL1]More zooming in from panning
Commentary:
I have selected my side-shadowing that I did on my first essay as an artifact because it helped me see what I did good and what I did bad on my first essay to improve for my second essay. I think it’s a good example that shows clearly what I need to do to improve after thorough reading and it shows what I thought I did good to carry onto my future essays. In my original draft of my first essay before I did the side-shadowing, I thought my essay was well-rounded with little mistakes. After I did the side-shadowing I realized that there are obvious strengths and weaknesses in my paper. One strength that I saw in my paper is the panning and zooming technique, I commented on it on my second page where I showed exactly where I was zooming into fanfiction by looking at a specific movie, High School Musical. One area that I showed a weakness is the organization of my essay especially where I was questioning whether my sixth paragraph was a good spot to put more evidence from fanfiction. It’s evident in my second essay as well as my presentation essay that I took my weakness about the organization of my first essay and made it better by using the evolving thesis guidelines. By using these guidelines it helped my essay stay consistent with its supporting evidence and I still used the panning and zooming technique that I did well in my first essay. Side-shadowing is a helpful tool to use for future essays and it is especially evident in my papers as I learn from the mistakes in my first essay and recognize the strengths I showed as well.
Artifact 4: Outside Artifact - Church Sermon
http://www.trinitycares.org/online-messages/index.html (Click Here to listen to the sermon) Commentary: During Veteran’s day break I went back home for the weekend and visited my home church in Tacoma. Youth pastor Nathan Monnin was guest preaching that Sunday and looking back at the notes I took during the sermon, I realize that he used many writing moves that we learned in my English 101 class predominately framing. Seeing how framing works in real life situations helps me understand the move as a whole. This sermon is titled Our Money Mission off the Simple Life series originally created by Pastor Rollie Simmons. Looking at my notes from that Sunday, I notice that Nathan shows a lot of framing in his message. He begins with an introduction of his background and his role in the church for the first-time visitors who may not know who he is. He brings up this theme of “stewardship” and also introduces the main topic of money which is the center of his sermon. Throughout his sermon he always comes back to the main topic of money. As he pans and zooms by citing scriptures from the Bible and putting his personal experiences in his message, he always comes back to the idea of “stewardship” and the topic of money and how it relates to the title of Simple Life. This panning and zooming technique strengthened my panning and zooming even more in my Presentation Essay. It was easier to format my essay using the evolving thesis bubble chart but the supporting evidence was easier to gather after I recognized Nathan panning and zooming. One example of panning and zooming that I used in my Presentation Essay was when I used President Shepard’s speech on diversity to zoom in on a piece of supporting evidence. Overall, Nathan’s sermon that day was really inspirational and stuck in my mind. When thinking of this framing ideas, it bettered my essays and also strengthened my confidence with that particular writing move. |
Artifact 5: Retrospective/Prospective Essay
Commentary:
My RP essay was a very important feature in my portfolio as a whole therefore I had to make it different than the average essay format. I didn’t feel like writing down paragraphs in a structured format was going to get my points across to the readers. After some deep thought, one of my friends came to me asking how it is taking English 101 now and then it hit me. After I gave my friend my response I realized that if I put my essay in an interview format, I’d be able to get all my points across very clearly. I visualized it in my head as if I was invited on a talk show where I’d be sitting in a chair across from the interviewer slightly angled to face the imaginary crowd. From there it all started flowing onto my paper, question after question, I covered all the questions that needed to be answered or explained. Having the questions asked to me as if I was being interviewed gave me the mental setting to give my honest and detailed explanation of the course and my Presentation essay. I believe designing it in an interview format, breaks down each section that I need to cover: the retrospective part of my Presentation essay, my participation in the class over the last ten weeks, and how I might repurpose or use the information I learned in the class for my future. I also wrote the script as if the words were being recorded as I was speaking. I chose to write with this diction to make is sound more realistic and because it flows better than if I kept the interview format but kept the lines the same as if I was writing a narrative essay. In my essay, I included some quotes from my essay to give examples specifically from my Presentation Essay.
Commentary:
My RP essay was a very important feature in my portfolio as a whole therefore I had to make it different than the average essay format. I didn’t feel like writing down paragraphs in a structured format was going to get my points across to the readers. After some deep thought, one of my friends came to me asking how it is taking English 101 now and then it hit me. After I gave my friend my response I realized that if I put my essay in an interview format, I’d be able to get all my points across very clearly. I visualized it in my head as if I was invited on a talk show where I’d be sitting in a chair across from the interviewer slightly angled to face the imaginary crowd. From there it all started flowing onto my paper, question after question, I covered all the questions that needed to be answered or explained. Having the questions asked to me as if I was being interviewed gave me the mental setting to give my honest and detailed explanation of the course and my Presentation essay. I believe designing it in an interview format, breaks down each section that I need to cover: the retrospective part of my Presentation essay, my participation in the class over the last ten weeks, and how I might repurpose or use the information I learned in the class for my future. I also wrote the script as if the words were being recorded as I was speaking. I chose to write with this diction to make is sound more realistic and because it flows better than if I kept the interview format but kept the lines the same as if I was writing a narrative essay. In my essay, I included some quotes from my essay to give examples specifically from my Presentation Essay.
Artifact 6: Portfolio Design
Commentary:
I chose to make a website for my final portfolio because I wanted to challenge myself and create something original. I know from the start that I wanted it to be creative, so what more could I think of than customizing my very own website. With so much freedom to create on a website, I knew that I’d be able to present my portfolio in a creative and effective way. By making a Weebly website I was able to separate each graded aspect and add images where I feel it was needed. I feel like the images I put in my website encapsulate English 101 pretty well as well as the topic of my Presentation Essay. By separating the content I can design each category differently according to the tone of the paper. I didn’t make the website as fancy as some may be but I did it on purpose to focus on the content of my writing rather than the design aspect. In this essay I hope that my readers will get a glimpse of how English 101 was in my perspective. My goal in this essay was also to relinquish any misconceptions for future students that fear English 101 as an essay heavy course with tough grading and strict essay structuring. With the closing of the course I feel very grateful of all the knowledge I learned and for future students, I highly recommend this class to introduce you to college writing. It will surely help and will teach you writing tools that will help you throughout the rest of your college writing experience.
Commentary:
I chose to make a website for my final portfolio because I wanted to challenge myself and create something original. I know from the start that I wanted it to be creative, so what more could I think of than customizing my very own website. With so much freedom to create on a website, I knew that I’d be able to present my portfolio in a creative and effective way. By making a Weebly website I was able to separate each graded aspect and add images where I feel it was needed. I feel like the images I put in my website encapsulate English 101 pretty well as well as the topic of my Presentation Essay. By separating the content I can design each category differently according to the tone of the paper. I didn’t make the website as fancy as some may be but I did it on purpose to focus on the content of my writing rather than the design aspect. In this essay I hope that my readers will get a glimpse of how English 101 was in my perspective. My goal in this essay was also to relinquish any misconceptions for future students that fear English 101 as an essay heavy course with tough grading and strict essay structuring. With the closing of the course I feel very grateful of all the knowledge I learned and for future students, I highly recommend this class to introduce you to college writing. It will surely help and will teach you writing tools that will help you throughout the rest of your college writing experience.